My heart just breaks for people sometimes. It seems like all of my friends are going through tough situations – new school, college, guy problems, lack of guy problems :]…all of it just seems overwhelming sometimes. What’s hard, too, is learning to be able to help and encourage them without you yourself becoming dragged down by their own personal problems. Fact is, though I’d like to, I can’t really solve any of my friends situations. Sure, I can pray for them. Sure, I can (hopefully) cheer them up. But beyond that I’m powerless.

I don’t like being powerless…

And then again, that’s what I am with my problems too…powerless to dictate my own moves (Relient K – When I Go Down).

Do I have so much pride? Do I seriously think I can free myself from my own sins? My own problems? Even if it IS just a subconscious thought, it affects the way I act, and it’s something I need to change.

I was talking to a dear friend of mine last night about having to surrender literally every second of every day, just to avoid trying to take control of our life. It’s a mindset that I haven’t acheived yet.

My favorite part of the song I mentioned:

You give me hope, and hope it gives me life. you touch my heavy heart, and when you do you make it light. as I exhale I hear your voice and I answer you, though I heardly make a noise. and from my lips the words I choose to say seem pathetic, but it’s fallen man’s praise. because I love you. oh God, I love you and life is now worth living if only because of you.