January 2009

I’m reading the latest (I think?) book by Leslie Ludy, one of my all time heroes. The book is called Set Apart Femininity, and has seriously challenged some of my views. And sort of nudged me to think more about something that has been…on my heart.




Even music.

When I think about all the hours I waste on it, I sort of shrivel up inside. Leslie said that a few years ago she and Eric decided to give up the majority of time spent on those things in pursuit of a deeper relationship with Christ. And, though she said it was terrible at first, she now is happy that she made that decision.

Jessica and I were talking the other day at the hospital, mutually venting about how as soon as you realize there’s something you should be doing, you have to do it (basically “to him who knows to do good and doesn’t do it, it’s sin”). This is one of those things. But I gotta say, I’m struggling with this.

I don’t want to give it up.

But I think I might.

I’m going to be praying/thinking about this…sigh.

HAH! Now whoever reads this is aware, and they’ll have to do it, too! IT’S LIKE A VIRUS! Muahahahah…

Ok that’s enough, lol.

I’m going to go mourn the loss of my childhood. I turn 18 tomorrow.




I find it hard not to be disarmed and warmed by Obama, to be quite honest. While I don’t agree with many – or quite possibly most – of his stance on issues, I recognize that he is now our president, and appears to have our nation’s best interests at heart. Of course we won’t fully know if that’s the truth until four (possibly 8) years from now, but all in all, Obama is in God’s hands. We have nothing to worry about, nothing to fear. Keep that in mind before you come moaning to me about how terrible he is…frankly I’m pretty tired of hearing it.

That sounded a little harsher than I intended, but you get what I’m trying to say.


I haven’t talked much about this, because I really don’t want to be labeled a hypochondriac (OML I ACTUALLY SPELLED THAT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME) but I’m starting to get just a touch worried about these phantom sicknesses I’ve been having. Or fever’s, to be specific. I’ve been getting a fever once or twice a month this year for no apparent reason. Add to that a pretty extreme fatigue that apparently can’t be quenched, and you’ve got the subject of my worry.

I looked up these symptoms on various web medical site things (it’s a technical term) and came up with Lyme Disease and Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. It didn’t help that every time I read a symptom I went “Holy cow! YES I have unusually swollen eyelids! I’m DYING!” So that was a bit counterproductive.

I’m just frustrated because it makes next to no sense. I’m worried about going to my scheduled doctor appointment, not so much because I’m afraid I have some weird far-fetched disease, but mostly because I don’t want to have to be pricked and pinched and pulled at. I don’t want to have to go through a diagnosis process…or worse, I don’t want to be told that there’s nothing wrong with me after all of this.


I have started several things for you, Lennae, but each time they for some reason got deleted. Hmm. I hope this can encourage someone!


I’ve been struggling recently in simply trusting God. I’m in my senior year, one semester left to go, and I’ve still not received direction from God on where He wants me to go from here. The future has been preying on my mind, rearing it’s head in the problematic question “so what are you going to do after you graduate?” that people are so fond of asking. It’s nothing short of humbling for me to reply “I’m not sure yet…”. I can just see their eyebrows raise, and am sure they’re thinking “well…she’s either lazy or just plain stupid.” haha, ok, so maybe it’s not that extreme, but the disapproval is easy to read.

I want to trust God fully, and be content in this last stage of…well, childhood, really. I want to enjoy it, I want to learn from it, and I want to use it, as there will never be a time like this in any other part of my life. Paul’s statement “I have learned in any circumstance to be content” has challenged me to find my fulfillment and security in Christ, and not in the flicker of a life that has been entrusted to me. God has written out His plan for me, and for now…I’ll wait.

God bless :]


…is another one of those things that classifies people into two groups.

Love and Hate.

Seriously, I don’t think there’s a whole lot of middle ground on the issue.

But, for the record…I love it.


We recently ‘inherited’ a Coo-Coo clock (is that how you spell it? yikes, sorry) from my grandma. I have so many fond memories of being at her house, listening to the semi-hourly cheesy (but endearing) music.

The first struggle with it, however, was remembering to wind it each night. We’ve had several nights already where we’ve forgotten, and subsequently had to wait until the next day at the particular time it stopped to restart it (it’s very temperamental).

Next, a few people (names will remain anonymous *cough* it was NOT me *cough*) took a distinct disliking to it’s chimes (ok…I admit…that was an attempt at a pun…charms…chimes…*hah*…groan) and would have appreciated it’s silence if ‘unwound’. Thankfully, they were overruled (it took a lot of persuasion on my part, though). It really does quickly blend in with all the other house noises, however. It doesn’t take too much getting used to.

But now it’s happily running smoothly. I still get a smile on my face every time I hear it. That may turn to indifference or annoyance eventually, but for now I’m going to enjoy the honeymoon stage.

Today, it seemed as if only a few minutes have passed between it’s coo-coos. Time goes away so quickly. Our life is truly so short. I still cannot believe I’m graduating. I can’t believe I’ll be an adult in just a couple weeks. I want to make this count. And every time that clock chimes, I’m reminded. I’m reminded that as much as my flesh wants to lie around and surf the internet all day, that there are more important things to do. I’m reminded that I’m connected to my family, my grandmother. I’m reminded of all the work that was put into creating, and then recently repairing, that clock.

The repairman is a specialist for just coo-coo clocks. His father was a watch repairman. There is something about people who are so dedicated to something that they choose to do only that one thing for the rest of their life. I give them my respect. Repairing my clock was a labor of love to this man.

Today I finished a book called Cure for the Common Life by Max Lucado (oh my, I just forgot what I was supposed to do with book titles! my english teacher must be banging her head on a wall as we speak…). It’s pretty much what it sounds like. It’s saying that every person has been created by God to do something very specific. He calls it a person’s “sweet spot”. If we find that sweet spot, then we will be able to serve God in the way He created us to – and enjoy it. I’m in the process of finding my sweet spot…I’d encourage you to read the book, it’s really interesting.

Ok wow, let’s go backwards through my train of thought. sweet spot, clock fixer, making life count, whisp of a life, time goes away, COOCOO CLOCK! hah! OK.

So I love our new coo-coo clock. :]



you will laugh.

i promise you.


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