You know that awkward silence you have with someone when you haven’t talked for awhile? You would THINK that you would have all sorts of things to talk about, but instead, you don’t know what’s going on in their life, so you don’t know what to ask them about. Plus – you don’t know what you’ve told them, and there’s this overwhelming sense of “I want to tell them about (such and such) but if I said that I’d have to explain that…and…*sigh*. Forget it.”

This is how I feel at the moment. When you blog consistently, you KNOW what to talk about. But now, I have no clue what to say.

I’m at my great-grandma’s, which is wonderful. She is THE BEST cook. I actually copied down a lot of her recipes last week, which is awesome to have.

OH. Still reading My Utmost for His Highest – this is the one for today (WONDERFUL AS ALWAYS):

The Delight of Despair

“And when I saw him, I fell at his feet as dead. And he laid his right hand upon me, saying unto me, Fear not; I am the first and the last:” Revelation 1:17

It may be that, like the apostle John, you know Jesus Christ intimately. Yet when He suddenly appears to you with totally unfamiliar characteristics, the only thing you can do is fall “at His feet as dead.” There are times when God cannot reveal Himself in any other way than in His majesty, and it is the awesomeness of the vision which brings you to the delight of despair. You experience this joy in hopelessness, realizing that if you are ever to be raised up it must be by the hand of God.

“He laid His right hand on me . . .” (Revelation 1:17). In the midst of the awesomeness, a touch comes, and you know it is the right hand of Jesus Christ. You know it is not the hand of restraint, correction, nor chastisement, but the right hand of the Everlasting Father. Whenever His hand is laid upon you, it gives inexpressible peace and comfort, and the sense that “underneath are the everlasting arms” (Deuteronomy 33:27), full of support, provision, comfort, and strength. And once His touch comes, nothing at all can throw you into fear again. In the midst of all His ascended glory, the Lord Jesus comes to speak to an insignificant disciple, saying, “Do not be afraid” (Revelation 1:17). His tenderness is inexpressibly sweet. Do I know Him like that?

Take a look at some of the things that cause despair. There is despair which has no delight, no limits whatsoever, and no hope of anything brighter. But the delight of despair comes when “I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells . . .” (Romans 7:18). I delight in knowing that there is something in me which must fall prostrate before God when He reveals Himself to me, and also in knowing that if I am ever to be raised up it must be by the hand of God. God can do nothing for me until I recognize the limits of what is humanly possible, allowing Him to do the impossible.

Aw stink, I can’t change the formatting now. Terrific.

Oh! Audrianna’s been keeping me accountable to get up earlier – and it’s AMAZING how quickly your body gets used to a sleeping habit! I’m already waking up at around 7 without the help of an alarm clock, which is…amazing for me, haha. It kinda stinks that I put this off till summer, though – this would have been the time that I could sleep in. SEE WHAT PROCRASTINATION GETS YOU, MELINDA!? SEE?! lol.

I’ve also been getting a lot of things done. I made a list a few weeks ago of things I wanted to get done during the summer – like packing up lots of my things in tubs, copying all the recipes I wanted, making an address book, finding bridesmaid dresses, etc etc etc. And I have EVERYTHING done except planning a Bridal Shower, which I’m pretty overwhelmed by. But I’m sure it’ll work out.

OH man, this is why I shouldn’t take time off from blogging…as soon as I start again, I ramble on and on…

Ok well, I’ve got to go. It’s amazing how tired traveling makes me. I mean, I slept a lot in the car…and all that seems to do is make me MORE tired. Go figure.