I’ve had a strange couple of days, to be honest. Someone said something (don’t worry, it’s not anyone who reads that blog!) that just sort of put me in a…funk.

I’m not angry at this person and I’m not really hurt, it was just sort of like a slap in the face. It wasn’t meant to be mean, nor was it something that would be hurtful to anyone else, really — it just wasn’t what I wanted to hear at the time.

I’ve also had a bit of a strangled (can I use that word for it?) relationship with God lately. I think I’m not alone when I feel some terror about saying that around Christians. It’s like it’s not ok to go through times of…spiritual valleys. It isn’t that I don’t trust God, and it’s not that I’m not still waiting on Him, it’s just been dry for awhile now. It’s the most frustrating thing, though, when you pick up the Bible, or you try to pray, and it just feels…wrong. Like there’s something in the way. And there probably is. Just about 100% of the time when we feel far away from God, it’s our fault, and I know that. But when you’ve been in a spiritual desert for a long time, you get used to being parched, and you forget that there’s a well of fresh water right in front of you.

It’s like when you’re in your room, and the natural light coming in from your windows is plenty to see by, but then the sun goes down. You don’t realize how dark it is until all of a sudden someone comes into your room and flips on the light. Do you know what I’m talking about? That moment of — “Oh! I can see!”. Haha. Or, if you’re like me, and have bad eyesight, it’s like when you’ve gone for a long time without updating your prescription. You don’t really realize what you’re missing, you don’t realize that everything is gradually getting blurry. But then as soon as you get those new glasses/contacts and every detail just leaps out at you, you realize that “i was blind, but now I see!”.

I need some more light. I need a new “prescription” or shall we say perspective. We — I need a spiritual revival more than I’d care to admit.

I think it’s hard for us to admit that. I think it’s hard to admit that God is working in us, that we’re not perfect, that we still struggle. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one, and I’m sure you’ve had moments like that too. But you’re not alone!

You know what reassures me?

Abraham was a liar.
David was a murder and an adulterer.
Peter denied Jesus.
Paul was a murderer.

The freeing thing is that we are NO LONGER slaves unto sin, we are slaves unto righteousness! We HAVE been set free from sin. When will we start living like that? Do you ever feel the dread of “what will I do next”? Or “when will I commit this sin again, cause it’s just a matter of time”? We can’t think like that! We have been SET FREE. Sin has no more right to us! Satan has no authority over us! Temptation has no power — we have been bought with a price, redeemed by His blood! Do not let sin reign in your mortal body.

Let’s set things into perspective real fast.

You will die.

You are GOING to die.

What we call “life”, a mere wisp of fog when compared to eternity, is about glorifying Him by enjoying Him forever.

Forget your drama. Forget your angst.

Do those things affect us? YES. But take it to God! He can fix it!

Sigh. Remember, I’m preaching to myself here, so if I sound like I’m on a soapbox, it’s only because it’s what I myself need to hear, and I’m trying to pound it into my THICK SKULL.

I’m sorry for the disjointedness. It’s been a long day. Not a bad one, just long, and tomorrow promises to be more of the same.

Goodnight, dears. Sweet dreams :]