My favorite number is 4.

I think it’s been this way since (if my memory is correct) Kristin and Kari declared it “the year you become a BIG girl”.

As I was an impressionable young child, I believed them.

The more I think about it, though, the more this theory reeks of PURE and UNDEFILED baloney. First of all, everyone knows that 5 is a better age to be than 4, if only because it’s one of those easy numbers to count by (like 1, 2, and 10) and because it’s HALF of the age of 10 — which is a big deal when you’re five.

And when you grow up, 3 is a much better number than 4, because when you have 3 of something together it looks nicer. (AUDRIANNA, BACK ME UP ON THIS!) Also, because Jesus was in the grave THREE days, not FOUR.

Not to mention that the number 4 is confusing for kids to learn how to write! Do you make a triangle 4? Or do you make the open-box four? It is a decision that can only be made once, and then the habit is formed and can NEVER BE BROKEN. Should one take the safer route of the open-box 4? Or ignore the peer pressure and possible jeering and choose the less-common triangle 4? These are the questions that keep kids up at night, people. Eliminate one of the 4’s!

And think, if only I had picked the number 3, or 5, I could have boasted that my favorite number was a prime number, but ALAS. At the humble age of 4 I wasn’t taught the factors that should go into the favorite number decision-making process, and so I am STUCK, FOREVER having a second-rate favorite number.

The world is a cruel, cruel place.


P.S. the paragraph structure in this blog is TERRIBLE, but I refuse to change it because I am LAZY. DEAL WITH IT. :]