February 2010


James 1:2-4

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

This year has been crazy.

And by year I don’t mean since last February. I mean SINCE JANUARY FIRST. I have had some of the highest and lowest moments of my life in these past two months.

Highlights:

-Several big steps forward in my relationship with Jesus-
-Going to Haiti-
-Singing If You Want Me To
-Getting excited about River of Life, and going to River of Life-
-My new ipod-
-Wonderful new tea-
-Wonderful new coffee-
-The new season of LOST-
-My 19th birthday-
-…more I can’t think of-

Lowlights:

-The realization that I’m not nearly as close to God as I would like to be-
-Leaving and missing Haiti, the earthquake in Haiti-
-Turning down the offer to work at ROLF-
-Lack of income-
-Kaylin being hospitalized-

The last one has without any doubt been the hardest. My little sister had been worryingly sick for a week when I got the call at AWANA that my parents had taken her to Children’s Mercy to be treated for dehydration. I can’t tell you how horrible it is to see a sibling, a nine year old no less, suffer. I’ll spare you the horrid details, but there was one moment where I had to leave, lock myself in the bathroom and sob, pleading with God to heal her.

It was the worst week of my life.

But now it’s better. She is happy, she’s healthy, she’s home, and she’s already starting to be hyper. Hah. Too many h’s? Sorry. It’s such a relief. Praise God she’s better. Thank you all SO SO much for your prayers.

I’m looking forward to the rest of this year. If it continues to be as crazy and stretching as it has been so far, I think I’ll learn a lot.

…lindy

I’m officially leaving blogger. I’m sorry, ya’ll, but it’s just been annoying me lately, and I’m finally ready for a switch. PLUS, wordpress has SHINY NEW THINGS.

Shiny new things are FUN. :)

The only problem is I can’t change the font…and I was having fun doing that. OHHHhhh, I can’t change the SIZE, either?!? DRAT. That’s no fun. Well, I guess I’ll make do? Hmmm…

…I think I’ll just give this a TRIAL RUN.

…lindy

Because it sounded like fun, and because I am obsessed with bullet points, I’m going to copy off of Hannah and list some of my current thoughts. Ready? Go.

  • I am drinking lemon tea…it is delicious
  • It’s close to a new season, thus the reset button to my brain is about to be pushed…this makes me HAPPY.
  • Guitar is becoming really fun now that I’m learning more chords, and picking and strumming patterns.
  • The urge to write is becoming irresistible. As SOON as I get a good idea…
  • Boys have me confused. *sigh*
  • I got an adorable dress today for $10! SHWEET.
  • OH, speaking of writing, I got some books filled with pictures for INSPIRATION.
  • I’m going to make some marvelous chicken tonight!
  • Melody assures me that Emma is on its way!!
  • Jack Johnson is THE MAN
  • I suppose that’s all for now :)

OK. Ok. Off to make dinner, then the Bible study…

…lindy

Last night I had an internal struggle. One I’m not exactly proud of. It went something like this:

New Lindy: “I haven’t had my devotion today!! I’d better do that before I go to sleep!”
Old Lindy: “NO. I’m tired. I probably wouldn’t get anything from it anyway.”
New Lindy: “That’s ridiculous. You always think you won’t enjoy it, but when you fight through that, you love it!”
OL: “WELL I DON’T WANT TO TONIGHT, OK??” (OL can be very stubborn…and stupid)
NL: “You know you’ll feel dry and weak if you don’t.”
OL: “DRY? What the heck. I’ll be fine. I know what the Bible says, anyway.”
NL: “WHOA, whoa! Do I sense some PRIDE?”
OL: “Whatever…I’ve been reading the Bible for ages.”
NL: “Ok, not even going to address that, because I KNOW you’re just being belligerent.”
OL: “Oooo, look at you, using big words. I’M NOT SCARED OF YOU.”
NL: “JUST READ IT. You’ll be glad you did!!”
OL: “I WANT TO SLEEP.”
NL: “DO IT!”
OL: “NO!”
NL: “DOOO IT!!!!”
OL: “NOOOOOOOOO!!!”

*Etc.*

Eventually, my “New Self” won out, thank goodness, and you know what? Last night I got an entirely different view of God, one I’d never understood before! It was amazing! I was just lying there after I finished reading in Hebrews and I felt….ashamed.

Why, WHY, after all these years of being a Christian do I still doubt the power of God’s Word? Why do I still struggle with a desire to read the Bible? Why do I forget that every time it’s NEW and FRESH? Every, every time I fight through my laziness I’m glad I did! I have to say, I’m one of the slowest learners in the world. I am so stubborn. My stupid pride still gets the best of me WAY TOO OFTEN.

And why do I doubt the power of prayer? And the peace that comes when I pray? When I’m in His presence, I find the fullness of joy. Why do I forget the beauty of the gospel? The simplicity of this life? To love Him, to glorify Him?

I really am ignorant. I’m the worst kind of ignorant, because I don’t know that I don’t know. Whenever I learn something new from God, I’m sort of…shocked. And humbled that I never knew!

Guys, the closer I get to God, the more I realize how proud and self-centered I am. The more I realize how…FALLEN I am.

Pastor’s message last Sunday really encouraged me, though. We have everything we need to win ANY battle we face, because we have the encouragement of the Holy Spirit, Jesus’ righteousness making us holy, and God’s power to defeat ANYTHING. Why do we fear? Why do we doubt? Why don’t we ever go out on a limb and trust that He will prove himself? I never take risks based on my faith in God.

My faith is so…weak.

Lord, save me from myself!

…lindy

I am DETERMINED not to feel sorry for myself today. There is absolutely no reason.

.-.-.FACTS.-.-.

  • I don’t need a guy to be HAPPY.
  • I have WONDERFUL friends who remind me how blessed I am
  • I have a family who LOVES me for who I am.
  • I am COMPLETE in Christ, I need nothing more to be fulfilled.
  • I will probably be MARRIED most of my life.
  • God knows WHO and WHEN the right guy is coming along.

If you’re single today, remember that you…probably won’t be single forever, haha. No promises, sorry, but God has it all figured out. Don’t worry! …Just keep swimming. :)

<3 to everyone who reads this blog! I'm so grateful for every one of you!

Philippians 1:3-4
I thank my God every time I remember you.
In all my prayers for all of you,
I always pray with joy.

….lindy

Last night I got back from River of Life Farm, a resort on a river about 5 1/2 hours from home, where I went to see if perhaps I’ll be working there. It’s BEAUTIFUL, first of all, and I really hit if off with the people who own it! But…there are several *hitches*, too, which would just be too hard to explain.

Anyway, I got a sense of what I would be doing — cleaning and working in the office, which was great! I got a tour of all the cabins, which are GORGEOUS. This one is one of my favorites :)

I’m still not sure whether or not I’ll be moving there, though, so please keep me in your prayers :) It could be a wonderful opportunity, or it could be something that would wear me out…we’ll see!

So…THE OLYMPICS STARTED! I’m waiting for it to come on right now, actually. …ok, well I was waiting for it to start, now it has, cause I got distracted reading Hannah and Audrianna’s blogs :)

It was really sad to hear about the Georgian luge man who died on a training run yesterday. The moment of silence during the Olympic ceremony was really touching. It’s not what you want to hear or see, someone dying during their dream. Life is so short. Am I ready??

I love the Opening Ceremony, though! I have a few comments on it, however, that I will express in BULLET POINTS, because I have a new found love for them :)

  • I always forget how many countries participate in the Olympics! It takes FOREVER for them all to enter.
  • I loved the choice of music: Both Sides Now is a song my mom used to play on the piano all the time, Hallelujah is a gorgeous song that I’ve loved for awhile now, and Sarah McLachlan is always brilliant.
  • OH, the boy flying to Both Sides Now? That was awesome. Is it just me, or is there always something involving cables and a boy/girl flying during the opening ceremonies? ALWAYS. Nothing wrong with that, it’s great. I just think it’s funny that every country does it.
  • The WHALES WERE AWESOME! So cool.
  • What was with the girl singing the Olympic Hymn? I mean, I’m all for opera, but that was just crazy. And her HAIR! I was so angry Bob Costas didn’t say something about her hair — that would’ve made my NIGHT. He’s never been afraid to make fun of things….but unfortunately nothing was said about her exaggerated facial expressions, hand motions, OR her hair. Siiiigh.
  • I loved the modern dance with all of the people in civilian clothes!! I don’t think I would’ve appreciated it as much as I did if it weren’t for all of the years of watching Jessica dance :) It was awesome!
  • OH!!! THE SCREECH VIOLINISTS WERE SO COOL! CrAzY, but cool :P
  • I really liked the slam poetry guy, too. It made me realize how little I know about the people of Canada. :/
  • It was PAINFUL, PAINFUL when the Olympic torch thing didn’t go up. I was so embarrassed for Canada, haha.

Man, I thought I would just have like three little things to say about it, then it all came pouring out, haha.

That’s all for now, I suppose. I promise I’ll try to update more often, though!! :)

…lindy

I miss writing. I miss it a lot.

It seems like I cannot multitask when it comes to literature. Either I am writing and trying not to spoil my voice by reading someone else’s, or I’m reading a lot and not writing.

This blog sort of counts, I suppose, but it’s not like the thrill of November when you know if you don’t write those 1,666 words the guilt monkeys will feed on your soul. Not to mention the crazy task of trying to catch up — it’s nearly impossible.

Nearly.

Last year that’s what I ended up doing, playing catch up…the WHOLE time. I would not write much for a few days, and then fill the air with the smell of slightly burnt coffee and the frantic “clickity clack” of the keyboard.

I’ve noticed this about myself in a lot of areas — if it’s not a short term goal, if there’s no pressure I have a hard time focusing. If there’s TOO MUCH to do, then I thrive. If I have free time, I procrastinate.

How do you guys get your work done? Do you prefer a relaxed atmosphere, or does pressure help you accomplish projects?

…lindy