March 2010


…so says a song by The Weepies. But I think it’s a LIE.

Surely you’ve had someone steal your happiness. Usually for me it’s when I’m really excited about something, maybe something small, but I’m excited nonetheless — and then someone I admire makes a sarcastic comment about it.

…in that case, my happiness is stolen. I feel silly.

Or, like Mel and I were just talking about, when you’re the only one wearing a wintry OR springy outfit in the entire church. Joy-stealing moment, for sure.

Or when you excitedly accept a compliment that was actually meant for someone else. Happiness stealer.

Or perhaps when you finally look in the mirror and realize there’s a piece of lettuce in your teeth…and you’ve JUST been talking to the boy you like.

You guys have any others?

…lindy

Just a short little story. I don’t feel like making it good, sorry, so ignore the blatant cliches and possible bad grammar. I’ve warned you in advance, don’t complain. :P

It all began on a partly cloudy day (an instant indicator that I am a pessimist, by the way) on the way from the hospital, volunteering with Jessica, to the library. This was supposed to be a short trip, just to pick up the holds and get some books for Kaylin. Nothing intense (and believe me, I HAVE been on intense library-runs. They DO exist).

We arrived, and Jess and I went our separate ways, eager to find the certain books, and baffled by the rearrangement of Adult Non-Fiction. After that was sorted out, though, I made my way to the kids section. In this we encounter —

Awkward Situation #1

There was a certain bespectacled, striped-sweatered lanky boy/man (you know…that awkward 19-22 something guy who you just don’t know how to address) librarian that was in my way. I politely stepped out of the aisle so he could make his way through, he said excuse me — no problem. The awkwardness is that it happened…two other times. And this is not some huge library, my friends (great, did I really just say “my friends”…?), OH, no, this is a two-aisle children’s section. Now, the second time you almost run into someone, it’s just funny, right? You laugh a little, move past each other, it’s all good. The third time, you’re both a little suspicious. There are cocked heads and raised eyebrows involved. It’s…

Awkward.

Immediately after I found the books my little sister wanted, I made my way to the check-out desk. Right away I encountered —

Awkward Moment #2

I made EYE CONTACT with another man/boy, THIS one sitting at the computer, ready to check me out (can we pause at this moment to recognize the awkwardness that is THAT PHRASE?). And now that I had made eye contact, there was no backing out. There was no pretending I was just about to go find some more books — it was obvious I was done. So, I inwardly groaned and drug my feet to him, made myself smile and say:

“Hello! How are you — whoa!” My ‘whoa’ was directed at the tumbling books on the desk. “Sorry, there we go.”

“Dahboothindug…?” — this, the coherence that was his next statement.

As I told Jessica later, there’s a critical moment that follows an incomprehensible mumble; that being the decision. You can either ignore it, ask him to repeat himself, or assume that he said something…and go from there.

…I chose…probably unwisely…to ignore.

There is a delicate silence for a few moments, as his eyes dart around, then up to me, then down, then up again as he repeats, “Did you find everything alright?”

“Yes, I did, thanks!” I reply. NO acknowledgment that he had previously said anything at all.

“Oh, it’s saying that I need to confirm your email?” He asks hesitantly, looking at me quizzically.

SUUUURE IT IS, WEIRDO. Just kidding. I’d had a problem with this earlier. “Oh really? The last time I was here I reconfirmed it.”

“Oh, ok. Sorry. The person must not have entered it in. Vickie?” His eyes lock with mine.

Without a second of hesitation, I reply, “Yes.” In defense of my lie, I use my mom’s card, and he didn’t really ask if MY name was Vickie…right? But as soon as I said it, I prayed he wouldn’t look at the birth date on the computer. I don’t even look 19, much less 52. As soon as it escaped my mouth, though, my hand goes to my hospital badge, which CLEARLY has my picture and “Mindi” on the front. I close my hand around the revealing identification and, without being too hasty and drawing attention to it, I pull the necklace part over my head, wrap it up and shove it in my purse.

“I’m sure they just forgot to enter it.” He repeated himself, clicking a few things. …and then proceeded to check me out (can we pause YET AGAIN for the unavoidable awkward phrasing? Geez. Not implying anything, I promise.), not saying another word to me.

I wish I had something more entertaining to end this little anecdote on, but I can’t remember what he said after he was done. I know he told me when the books were due…and then something like, enjoy? Or, thanks for coming? Something that I was only able to say “thanks” to, and couldn’t return. Which, by the way, is:

Awkward.

But hey, Jess and I had a good laugh about it. And it’s a story….not one worth repeating, mind you, or one that was worth your time reading, haha, but I wanted to write SOMETHING today, and that’s what came to mind. :)

…lindy

I went on a date with my Daddy tonight. :)

I am so blessed to have a dad like him.

We went to the library, one of the things we ALWAYS do on dates. I came across this WONDERFUL book, I haven’t read it yet, but it’s letters he wrote to his wife in America. I can’t wait to read it. I’ll probably make a post just of my favorite quotes.

I also watched a movie tonight, The Time Traveler’s Wife, which reminded me of how much I love good stories. I was enthralled.

My life is all about great stories. I search endlessly for them — in books, in movies, on YouTube, on TV, with my friends, my family, and learning more about the BEST Story. My LIFE, every aspect, is about stories. I want to live an extraordinary story. I don’t care if I’m rich or famous, I only want to live an abundant life. And thank You, God, for promising that I can.

I’m willing to do whatever it takes to live an extraordinary story. Wherever He leads, I’ll go!

…lindy

Something in me keeps saying that if I look out the window, the grass will be green, the sky blue, the sun burning with “marigolden hues”.

…instead, when I look, I see bitterly white snow and I dismal sky.

But that’s ok! Spring is coming! I haven’t lost faith!

Today Pastor preached about heaven — something I needed badly. So much hope rests in all that word suggests.

There’s a question, though, in Crazy Love, that asks something like “are you looking forward to Heaven because of all the *goodies*, or are you looking forward to the REASON for Heaven, God?” (PARAPHRASED). It honestly made me think.

Oh, you guys, I want to LOVE Him. I want to be obsessed, consumed, I want everything and everyone else to be NOTHING compared to him. I want my waking thought in the morning and my last words at night to be about and TO Him. I don’t want Him to be a part of my life, I want Him to BE my life.

What will it take, what do I need to do, to love Him? Where is the switch in my brain that I can flip? …if only…

“If you love me, keep my commandments”.

“Your commandments are my delight, and in them I meditate day and night”.

I love this next Psalm. I want it to be my life.

Psalm 27

The LORD Is My Light and My Salvation
Of David.

1The LORD is my(A) light and my(B) salvation;
(C) whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold[a] of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?2When evildoers assail me
to(D) eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
it is they who stumble and fall.

3(E) Though an army encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me,
yet[b] I will be confident.

4(F) One thing have I asked of the LORD,
that will I seek after:
that I may(G) dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon(H) the beauty of the LORD
and to inquire[c] in his temple.

5For he will(I) hide me in his shelter
in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will(J) lift me high upon a rock.

6And now my(K) head shall be lifted up
above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
sacrifices with shouts of(L) joy;
(M) I will sing and make melody to the LORD.

7(N) Hear, O LORD, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!
8You have said,(O) “Seek[d] my face.”My heart says to you,
“Your face, LORD, do I seek.”[e]

9(P) Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off; forsake me not,
(Q) O God of my salvation!
10For(R) my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the LORD will(S) take me in.

11(T) Teach me your way, O LORD,
and lead me on(U) a level path
because of my enemies.
12(V) Give me not up to the will of my adversaries;
for(W) false witnesses have risen against me,
and they(X) breathe out violence.

13I believe[f] that I shall look upon(Y) the goodness of the LORD
in(Z) the land of the living!
14(AA) Wait for the LORD;
(AB) be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the LORD!

Listen to Sara Groves’ album, Fireflies and Songs the next chance you get. :)

…Oh, Lord, the Spirit is willing, the flesh is weak…

…lindy

I’ve been thinking lately about humor in general. I, like Lizzy Bennet, “dearly love to laugh”, and wondered if and where jokes or sarcasm is in the Bible. I’ve only thought of 2 places so far. Can you guys think of anywhere else?

  1. Elijah mocks the prophets of Baal: 1 Kings 18:27, At noon Elijah mocked them. He said, “Shout loudly, for he’s a god! Maybe he’s thinking it over; maybe he has wandered away; or maybe he’s on the road. Perhaps he’s sleeping and will wake up!”
  2. Jesus and Nathaniel: John 1:45-50

45Philip found Nathanael and told him, “We have found the one Moses wrote about in the Law, and about whom the prophets also wrote—Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.”

46“Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?” Nathanael asked.

[SARCASM]

“Come and see,” said Philip.

47When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said of him, “Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is nothing false.”

48“How do you know me?” Nathanael asked.
Jesus answered, “I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you.”

49Then Nathanael declared, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the King of Israel.”

50Jesus said, “You believe because I told you I saw you under the fig tree.

[if this were written in modern language it would read “…under the fig tree?!?! LULZ!!”]

You shall see greater things than that.” 51He then added, “I tell you the truth, you shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man.”

So that’s all I have at the moment. Since we’re created in the image of God, I have to imagine He has a sense of humor — but I’ll confess, I don’t see it many places in the Bible. I’d really like to think that Jesus sat around with his disciples sometimes, reliving inside jokes and maybe doing an impression or two of the pharisees, but maybe I’m wrong. Of course it was an immensely serious thing Jesus came to Earth to do, but did he always have a straight face? The line with Nathaniel really COULD have been less of a joke than I’m making it out to be…I don’t want to force anything.

And maybe it’s good that the Bible isn’t littered with humor. I mean, would we take it seriously? We turn to the Bible for truth and for hope — maybe it’s good there’s nothing to…cheapen it.

Thoughts?

…lindy

I promise I haven’t forgotten you all or this blog! I have SEVEN drafts gathering dust, unworthy of your eyes. They’re just not up to par with what I would like to write. I feel like I’ve really let the quality of this blog slip. I feel like it’s becoming completely centered around ME and MY LIFE, which…wasn’t really the point of having a blog. I mean, at least I could make everything applicable to everyone else — instead it’s become a list of things I love or hate.

I don’t like that.

Hahahaha, I just realized that writing THIS particular entry is continuing the trend. WHATEVER. I’m going to try to change it from now on!

Oh, but this doesn’t mean I won’t talk about myself at all. It means that I want to be either meaningful, interesting, or at least ENTERTAINING. :P

But since I want to blog WELL, I might blog less often. Sorry! Quality over quantity?

In other news, I learned an AMAZING new word recently: Ennui! It describes how I’ve felt of late, and that’s all I want to say on the matter. :)

…lindy