Something in me keeps saying that if I look out the window, the grass will be green, the sky blue, the sun burning with “marigolden hues”.

…instead, when I look, I see bitterly white snow and I dismal sky.

But that’s ok! Spring is coming! I haven’t lost faith!

Today Pastor preached about heaven — something I needed badly. So much hope rests in all that word suggests.

There’s a question, though, in Crazy Love, that asks something like “are you looking forward to Heaven because of all the *goodies*, or are you looking forward to the REASON for Heaven, God?” (PARAPHRASED). It honestly made me think.

Oh, you guys, I want to LOVE Him. I want to be obsessed, consumed, I want everything and everyone else to be NOTHING compared to him. I want my waking thought in the morning and my last words at night to be about and TO Him. I don’t want Him to be a part of my life, I want Him to BE my life.

What will it take, what do I need to do, to love Him? Where is the switch in my brain that I can flip? …if only…

“If you love me, keep my commandments”.

“Your commandments are my delight, and in them I meditate day and night”.

I love this next Psalm. I want it to be my life.

Psalm 27

The LORD Is My Light and My Salvation
Of David.

1The LORD is my(A) light and my(B) salvation;
(C) whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold[a] of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?2When evildoers assail me
to(D) eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
it is they who stumble and fall.

3(E) Though an army encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me,
yet[b] I will be confident.

4(F) One thing have I asked of the LORD,
that will I seek after:
that I may(G) dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon(H) the beauty of the LORD
and to inquire[c] in his temple.

5For he will(I) hide me in his shelter
in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will(J) lift me high upon a rock.

6And now my(K) head shall be lifted up
above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
sacrifices with shouts of(L) joy;
(M) I will sing and make melody to the LORD.

7(N) Hear, O LORD, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!
8You have said,(O) “Seek[d] my face.”My heart says to you,
“Your face, LORD, do I seek.”[e]

9(P) Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off; forsake me not,
(Q) O God of my salvation!
10For(R) my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the LORD will(S) take me in.

11(T) Teach me your way, O LORD,
and lead me on(U) a level path
because of my enemies.
12(V) Give me not up to the will of my adversaries;
for(W) false witnesses have risen against me,
and they(X) breathe out violence.

13I believe[f] that I shall look upon(Y) the goodness of the LORD
in(Z) the land of the living!
14(AA) Wait for the LORD;
(AB) be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the LORD!

Listen to Sara Groves’ album, Fireflies and Songs the next chance you get. :)

…Oh, Lord, the Spirit is willing, the flesh is weak…